how did it come to this... ? ? ?
A month ago, a dream yanked me off my sleep. Bangungot, or nightmare if you put it in english, disrupted my midday slumber waking up in cold sweat at noon time. This tropical polluted weather made it even worse. The air is dense of humid moisture mixed with elements unkown, and some known. When you live on the 4th floor, you think you're better off from the ones on the ground, mind you, smog goes up and not settle on ground level. So now, you're unsure which is the real nightmare here.
Sleep is a luxury I have been longing to acquire if not purchase if can be for the past four months now, maybe five or maybe longer. I'm not so sure anymore, perhaps as a result of sleep deprivation. While it has not taken a toll on my motor nerves, its frying my brain inside out. Iv'e know people blow their brain often, but head implosion seem to be the situation here. As a result, my carcadian rythm is forcing itself to reset in its natural, and need I say better, time zone. Its either that or a synaptic melt down.
I am not new to working long hours till morning. As a student of Fine Arts a few years back, overnight sessions was a common practice in U.P. We found the after hours in the school's studio/classrooms more conducive when painting. Not because we were nocturnal but more of the atmosphere, when everyone has left. Its silent in the hallways because not many people come in and out and also no classes are held at night. So we had the studio all to ourselves for as long as we want with no disruptions whatsoever. And since almost everyone in school has gone home, you don't get those inviting distractions to the tambayans, inumans and the girls, especially from the other programs. Forgive me, but the female population in U.P. simply has that undefinable appeal that I can't fail to mention here. So with all that out of the way, you can get to your creative momentum before you could finish your first cigarette. Oh yes, a pack of cigarettes is part of the arsenal together with your oils and brushes. And of course, its a no sleep session till before the sun goes up, or you can opt to hit the sack earlier than everyone else. And that would be around past midnight or maybe earlier if its simply not the night for you. Perfectly normal if you ask me. In many of these sessions, we talk about theories in art and its philosophy. I found it a good practice to exchange ideas and thoughts about each other's work. Not so much to criticize nor praise each othere's work, but rather stimulate each other's neurons and fuel that creative passion. I guess this is why we're kept awake, its like an endless broadcast of neurotransmitters. Perhaps the nicotine regulated the traffic and avoided a jam. Its the MMDA in every synapse... or maybe I'm just rationalizing the purpose of smoking. But this is no psychological exercise it is simply how it works.
Two months further back, I got my 24th pay-check and that meant one thing, I got thru my first year here, and it has not been easy. Working on a night shift is so much different than I had originally thought. And now I ask myself, how did it come to this... How did I come to this!
Sleep is a luxury I have been longing to acquire if not purchase if can be for the past four months now, maybe five or maybe longer. I'm not so sure anymore, perhaps as a result of sleep deprivation. While it has not taken a toll on my motor nerves, its frying my brain inside out. Iv'e know people blow their brain often, but head implosion seem to be the situation here. As a result, my carcadian rythm is forcing itself to reset in its natural, and need I say better, time zone. Its either that or a synaptic melt down.
I am not new to working long hours till morning. As a student of Fine Arts a few years back, overnight sessions was a common practice in U.P. We found the after hours in the school's studio/classrooms more conducive when painting. Not because we were nocturnal but more of the atmosphere, when everyone has left. Its silent in the hallways because not many people come in and out and also no classes are held at night. So we had the studio all to ourselves for as long as we want with no disruptions whatsoever. And since almost everyone in school has gone home, you don't get those inviting distractions to the tambayans, inumans and the girls, especially from the other programs. Forgive me, but the female population in U.P. simply has that undefinable appeal that I can't fail to mention here. So with all that out of the way, you can get to your creative momentum before you could finish your first cigarette. Oh yes, a pack of cigarettes is part of the arsenal together with your oils and brushes. And of course, its a no sleep session till before the sun goes up, or you can opt to hit the sack earlier than everyone else. And that would be around past midnight or maybe earlier if its simply not the night for you. Perfectly normal if you ask me. In many of these sessions, we talk about theories in art and its philosophy. I found it a good practice to exchange ideas and thoughts about each other's work. Not so much to criticize nor praise each othere's work, but rather stimulate each other's neurons and fuel that creative passion. I guess this is why we're kept awake, its like an endless broadcast of neurotransmitters. Perhaps the nicotine regulated the traffic and avoided a jam. Its the MMDA in every synapse... or maybe I'm just rationalizing the purpose of smoking. But this is no psychological exercise it is simply how it works.
Two months further back, I got my 24th pay-check and that meant one thing, I got thru my first year here, and it has not been easy. Working on a night shift is so much different than I had originally thought. And now I ask myself, how did it come to this... How did I come to this!
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